As you can see in the photo above, I held my daughter for the first time today. Joy and I both did. There couldn't have been a more perfect first Mother's Day gift for Joy, and it was the pinnacle of my married life to see that little girl in Joy's arms. Holding her was incredible, and the nurses that were on staff today took special care of us to ensure Joy felt like a mother. We were blessed.
About 20 minutes after holding my little beauty (who fell asleep in her daddy's arms quickly), the doctor came in to tell us she was going to take out the breathing tube that went into her lungs! This was great news. It meant the doctor felt she had healed enough from the surgery to handle the stress of a big change, and they were confident in her abilities to breathe on her own.
They pulled out the tube which freed up her vocal chords to ring out in a glorious cry. Joy and I stood prepared in the corner with sound recording devices ready to capture the incredible moment, but it didn't happen. She used her whole body to try to pull in enough air, and she fought nearly as hard to push that air back out, but she couldn't do it. They ended up putting two small tubes in through her nose that keeps a steady flow of air into her body, but it doesn't give her pulses of air like the ventilator did. She fought it for a while, but later accepted it and settled down.
The doctor figures Maggie's airway is both small and inflamed from the irritation of the tubes. And her lungs are probably irritated too. She gave her a course of steroids (just like the big boys in the MLB) to decrease the swelling in the hopes that it will let her bring in more air and breathe more freely.
This process was torturous for me to watch. I'm glad I was there, but I wish I could have been a million miles away. Siberia, North Dakota, or any other terrible, horrible place in this world, anything but watching my baby girl struggle for life. Joy was a rock through the whole thing. She is amazing. I'm so proud to have her as my wife, and now the mother of my first child.
We are exhausted, and I'm sure the poor nurses I bug at all hours of the day, both in person and with phone calls to inquire about my daughter's well-being, are exhausted too. I'm going to make sure she is well handled, and I want to know every detail. Joy thinks it's funny that I will sometimes introduce myself as a journalist, but I think it explains a lot about me. I need to know details so I can tell the story. And all of you who read about and pray for our family deserve the detail too.
It looks like Maggie will be receiving Joy's milk soon! Her newly-formed colostomy is working well, but there is one issue. It looks like some of the inside plumbing will need another surgery later on. But we were told not to worry about that just yet. I could use a little less worry.
Well, I go back to work tomorrow. I'm not ready, but I need to get back for practical purposes and emotional stability. Sitting in a hospital 6-12 hours a day is demoralizing. Even if everything is going well it will break you down quickly. I need to get back into a routine at work, and I'm grateful for a boss who is understanding about our situation and needs.
Okay. I'm going to sleep. Gotta be up for work in 10 hours. I think that should be enough.